I used to hate new and unexpected experiences in my life. A traumatic event in my childhood caused me to feel scared of change and crave control of my surroundings. This led me to forming my dreaded comfort zone.
Having a fear of the unknown, I tried avoiding trying new things and stuck to the same, safe routine every day.
I labeled myself a quiet, reserved person, prioritizing my safety over my happiness. This was my identity.
I liked living this way. It was safe and easy. But deep down, I always felt like I was missing out on life…I secretly felt very unfulfilled.
When I was younger, my friends encouraged me to participate in an art competition since I loved art.
I had never participated in an art competition before, so fearing the unknown, I panicked.
”I’m scared. This is totally new and I don’t know what will happen, what if I make a fool of myself? What if everything goes wrong? What if I just waste my time and my hopes get crushed? I can’t do this!”
I refused to join the art competition, telling my friends I wasn’t interested.
Another time, I felt lonely, so I wanted to make more friends. I asked my social friend how she made so many awesome connections with people.
She advised, ”Oh, you have to start approaching people and making conversations. You need to be the initiator.”
Hearing this, my intrusive thoughts screamed, ”Approach people!? No way! Abort! We can’t do this! Too uncomfortable! Too scary!”
Ultimately, I didn’t listen to her advice and stayed alone, even though I knew making friends would give me happiness.
My comfort zone had won again, by filling me with fear.
I lived for a long time like this.
Honestly, I can say it was the dullest period of my life. ”Why is my life so boring?” I regularly asked myself.
Finally, I got fed up living in the mental prison I put myself in.
I wanted to be happy, and I wanted to achieve my dreams.
I finally decided to commit to changing and improving my life.
I decided to live bravely and try new experiences instead of letting my fear hold me back. I still felt afraid, but I was determined to overcome my fear of the unknown.
“The hardest thing to do is leave your comfort zone. But you have to let go of the life you’re familiar with and take the risk to live the life you dream about.”
–T. Arigo
I stepped out of my comfort zone, nervous but excited for what will come. I loved it – I felt truly…alive.
I participated in those competitions. I approached people. I went to the gym. I launched my business. I went on that roller coaster.
Sometimes I failed and messed up, but mostly I laughed and had the most enjoyable time of my life.
Every new experience I put myself in energized me and filled me up with excitement. The feeling was amazing – I was so proud of myself for improving my life and becoming more successful.
Sure, there were many hurdles along the way, but overcoming challenges made me grow internally and taught me valuable life lessons.
If I could start my life all over again, I would have stepped out of my comfort zone way earlier.
But I’m glad I overcame it now before it was too late.
I now label myself as a confident, brave, and social person, living life to the fullest and who’s not afraid to be uncomfortable – this is the identity I now embody with pride.
If you’re also struggling to overcome your fear of the unknown and take that giant leap of faith, then scroll down below, to see how exactly I did it.
“Everything you’ve ever wanted is sitting on the other side of fear.”
-George Addair
But of all, why do we even create a comfort zone? Why is our comfort zone so tempting and addicting for us?
Why you desire to be in your comfort zone and how you can escape it slowly
1. Understand your Brain (with love):
Humans are naturally goal seekers. It’s literally programmed in our minds to do whatever it takes to accomplish our goals.
But our brains are also wired for comfort, making us feel fear and pain before we do something which makes us uncomfortable.
Here’s an example- You want that nice, attractive gym body.
So you head to the gym and do an intense workout. It was painful, tiring, and left you breathless.
The next day, you hesitate to go to the gym again, because your brain remembers how uncomfortable it was, and wants to avoid that pain.
So your brain thinks of all sorts of reasons to convince yourself not to workout, instead just to stay at home and relax.
Our brain focuses more on the negatives, (That is, by doing exercise we’ll feel tired and our muscles will be sore) than the positives (We’ll be more healthy, more attractive, and our happiness will increase).
This is an example of how our brains seek comfort more than happiness.
Honestly, this 100% applies to every single situation in our life.
The temporary pleasure we get from not taking action tempts us so much, even if our life gets ruined because of it!
It also explains trauma side effects- our brains would do anything to avoid going through that painful situation again, even if it meant you would live in a mental confinement forever.
So, how can we fix this, beat the uncomfortable feeling of pain, and start changing?
Answer:
Make the long-term pleasure of going up and completing the task, seem more pleasurable than the temporary pleasure of ignoring the painful task.
We should magnify the positive things that will happen, if we do suck it up and do the action, by 100x and diminish the temporary negative feelings we’ll feel (like fear, pain).
We can’t pretend the pain doesn’t exist, but we can accept that it will be scary and uncomfortable.
Let’s grit our teeth and do it anyway!
Your future self will thank you for it.
”The pain you face now is temporary. The pain of regret lasts forever.”
2. Lack of a life vision:
Everyone needs something that makes them excited to start their day.
A goal that we can’t wait to accomplish; a dream that keeps us awake at night.
Something which we always look forward to the next day.
Something that makes us jump out of bed from excitement the moment we wake up.
I didn’t know how I wanted my lifestyle to be like, and I had no sense of purpose.
After learning from books and mentors, I realized having goals and dreams to look forward to is so important in life – it makes life continue to be worth living.
Most people go to school, graduate from university, and land a secure job.
Then they believe this is all there is to life, and they’ve accomplished everything that they’re required to.
Bored, they live the same week over and over again.
Nothing is exciting anymore.
They start complaining about things and until their last breath, live a mundane life.
We’re never too old to change our path and set new goals that we’re truly passionate about.
“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”
-Chinese Proverb
Ask yourself now, what kind of lifestyle do you genuinely desire to have?
A healthy lifestyle, traveling around the globe, or/and with a warm and happy family?
Do you want a peaceful life, or an adventurous life?
What would a day in your dream life be like?
Decide what you want first and feel what it would be like to have these desires.
Our life vision isn’t the path that other people believe is the best for us. It’s something that we decide for ourselves.
What do you want to accomplish in this lifetime? What want to do in your life that’ll make you 100% happy and satisfied that you lived your life to the fullest, when you’re on your deathbed?
Now, it’s super important to align our actions with our dreams…and have patience while trusting the process.
For example -> You want to be a famous dancer – practice your dancing skill. Try out for entertainment agencies.
Do you want to become a great parent? Sign up for parenting classes. Spend more time with your child and try to understand them.
Aligning your actions with your dreams makes you feel extremely fulfilled. It brings a new sense of meaning to your life.
3. Poor Mental Health:
Being insecure, afraid of change and the unknown, and wanting to stay in our comfort zones are all symptoms of something much more deeper – poor mental health.
Once I healed my mental health – I found it was so much easier for me to step out of my comfort zone and start doing new things – I was excited and filled with faith more than fear.
The two most common mental illnesses are depression and anxiety.
It’s important to not hate our mental illnesses, and not create our identity based on them.
Your mental illnesses were just formed to protect you. Heal them with a grateful heart, instead of a hateful one.
Depression is when we feel a sense of’ ‘emptiness‘ – feeling as if our life has no purpose or meaning.
Anxiety – a state of nervousness or worry– is caused due to something traumatic happening when we were younger.
Since we couldn’t protect ourselves back then, our brain is trying to protect us by making us anxious when faced with a similar situation.
Recovering our mental health should be one of the most important priorities in our life!
4. Physical Problems:
1) Lack of good nutrition:
I was a big fan of snacking on chips, candy, and other snacks while I worked or watched entertainment.
It felt so tasty, I enjoyed it a lot!
Soon after I was done eating though, I felt sluggish and lazy. I couldn’t work properly anymore, and my mood dropped down. 😣
I learned that every type of food we eat has a certain vibration. What is vibration?
Vibration is kind of like the ‘purity’ level of something.
You know how some crystals are super clean, translucent, and are super pretty? They have high vibration.
While other crystals are murky, filled with impurities, and dirty. These have low vibration.
The same things apply for food – some foods are wayyy more pure and cleaner than the others.
Organic, fresh, natural foods are some of the purest foods you can find – and eating them cleanses your body – which increases your vibration too!
Living with high vibration feels so peaceful, positive and energizing.😊
My intrusive thoughts quiet down, and my overthinking also reduces. ❤
Healthy body = Healthy mind! 😉
Junk food contains unhealthy fats and carbs which make you fatigued, and reduces your mental capacity to think. Ditch the junk food and eat clean.
2) No Physical movement:
Sitting down all day has been proven to add to feelings of anxiety and depression.
Exercising also provides a distraction from your intrusive thoughts.
Exercising is a great way to get your heart pumping and has numerous benefits.
Here’s a useful guide that covers how to start exercising for beginners. 💪
It’s important to start early, don’t put off doing something which you can do today!
Start small, and build momentum as time goes by. You got this!!!!
Conclusion
I believe that aside from all the things I did above…the biggest factor that helped me overcome my fear was faith.
I was afraid of all the things that would go wrong, and getting my hopes crushed…but now I look for all the things that could go right, and smile.
I believed I could grow and become a better person, not just for myself, but for the world as well.
I trust in a Higher Power to guide me, and the guidance I receive is wonderful – I’m happier and living a healthier life than ever before.
By overcoming my comfort zone, I knew that a happier, more fulfilling future awaited me.
Believe in yourself. Overcome your comfort zone, to give yourself the future you deserve, and become inspiration for millions more to come.
