You’ve just failed at something you thought you’d succeed in. You were feeling very excited to only have your hopes crushed and flushed down the drain. Now you’re left with the weight of failure, feeling incompetent as ever, and your superiors shake their heads at you. It seems like there’s no hope to overcome this adversity.
Or you’ve just moved to a new area and your circumstances prevent you from leaving. Every day you’re constantly annoyed by the people and situations around you. Now you’re feeling down in the dumps because your life sucks.
What should you do now? Accept that you’re a hopeless loser, cry in your bedroom eating a tub of ice cream? Run away from work, taking a flight to the Bahamas? Or overcome your adversity and become stronger?
Adversities/challenges are faced by everyone on Earth and are unavoidable. But different from what we think, they don’t come our way just to cause stress and self-doubt, they help us to break out of our comfort zone and grow into better people.
Take the case of failure, for example. When you fail, it feels painful and shameful. But it also allows us to learn from our mistakes and grow.
Every time you fail, you receive equal success if you learn from it.
Like when you break free of a toxic friendship, you feel lingering emotions of sadness – but you also harden your self-confidence and increase your self-worth, which will benefit you in the long term.
What is adversity?
Adversity refers to the different challenges we face in our lives, that trigger our fear, anger, and sadness. Adversity can show up in our lives as:
- Mental and physical illnesses
- Relationship and social problems
- Financial problems
- Sudden negative change
- Losing a loved one
- Career problems
The MOST IMPORTANT thing to keep in mind to overcome adversity:
It’s okay to be weak, but not okay to stay weak. Sometimes things are out of our control, but that’s okay. Everything will turn out alright in the end.
Focus on the things that we CAN control, like our happiness, physical and mental health, etc., and have faith that the Universe will take care of everything else.
It’s never too good to keep your bottled-up negative feelings inside of you. Cry when you’re alone. Let all your tears and anger and sadness out, till you’re tired and calm. Let it all out, and when you’re ready, get back up again.
We should never wallow in self-pity and victimize ourselves because of the challenges we face.
Accept that your adversity exists and show up to overcome it with the loving intent to grow and become a better person than you were before. Face your challenges bravely with faith rather than fear.
Challenges are opportunities given to us by the Universe so we can spiritually grow and let go of our limiting, fear-based beliefs that are holding us back. Once you overcome your adversity and learn your lesson, your life will be changed forever.
I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.
-Jimmy Dean
How to overcome adversity:
1. Choose to show up to overcome this challenge rather than ignore it
This is about accepting that you can’t avoid your challenge – you can only postpone it for a bit. If you don’t choose to accept this adversity today, it will continue to pop up in front of you in new experiences. If you don’t show up for it, it’ll show up for you.
Show up with grace and love. Whenever you face a bad situation, you have 2 options of FEAR – Face Everything And Rise or Forget Everything And Run. But I can tell you running away from your problems never solves anything. Rather, it just makes it come back and bite us in the butt harder.
2. Ask For guidance and Pray for Faith
Trust that the Universe is watching over you and will always support you for your highest good. No matter how big a challenge might be, the Universe will never give you anything you can’t handle. Overcoming adversity is effortless when you relax and trust in a higher power.
It’s okay if developing your faith in a higher power is new to you. What matters most is that you strengthen your confidence to overcome this challenge, and place your faith in the unknown.
Believe in yourself and your abilities, by showing up to your challenge with faith and love. Surrender to love and guidance. The Universe will take care of the rest.
”To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim you don’t grab hold of the water, because if you do you will sink and drown. Instead you relax, and float.”
– Alan Watts
3. Journal Your Triggers- What are you supposed to learn from this?
Open up a notebook and write down how you’re feeling because of your challenge. Why does this trigger your emotions so much? Write down whatever comes to mind.
Writing in a journal is a great method to be more aware of your emotions and identify them. This awareness is an important component of healing – you can’t heal what you think doesn’t exist.
4. Acknowledge that there are some things you can’t control – But that’s alright!
Not being in control of our situation can be frightening, I know. It’s important not to worry about the things out of your control, like – other people’s thoughts and motives, world situations, time, bills, etc.
Focus your attention on the things you can control – your actions, self-talk, choices, mindset and habits.
All humans hate the unknown. When you desperately seek to be in control of everything in your life, things fall out of your grip even faster. Not to mention it causes high levels of anxiety. Yikes!
Developing faith for the first time may feel strange, but with practice, you’ll feel more safe and grounded than ever.
5. Change Your Mindset and Your Thoughts – You attract how you feel
A positive, determined mindset finds solutions more faster than a negative mindset. Your thoughts lead to emotions which lead to your actions. Having a positive mindset subconsciously makes your brain look for more situations that’ll make you feel EVEN MORE positive.
For example, remember when one thing went wrong in your day, and then suddenly the rest of the day keeps getting worse? Or maybe vice versa, something good happened and the rest of your day magically gets better.
This is because our subconscious mind attracts situations with increase the emotion we’re feeling.
If you feel happy, your sub. the mind will find situations (without you even being aware of what you’re doing!) that’ll make you MORE HAPPY.
If you’re angry, your subconscious mind will create situations that’ll make you MORE ANGRY. Funny how it works, huh?
6. Avoid Falling into Bad Habits to Ignore Your Pain
It’s tempting to escape from our problems and seek temporary pleasure to numb the pain. Things like scrolling on social media, binge eating, drinking, smoking, etc. may provide short-term pleasure but damage your life in the long term.
This temporary remedy will not ease your pain in the long run, nor help you overcome your problem. It’ll just bite you back, again and again.
Instead of opting for bad habits, put good habits in your routine. Habits like meditating, exercising, and journaling can significantly reduce your anxiety and give you peace and happiness, much more beneficial than temporary pleasure.
The best method to eliminate bad habits and include productive habits is by doing a dopamine detox.
7. Start Giving Gratitude for the small things
Sometimes we’re so caught up in our problems that we forget about the blessing we already have. Like your eyes that you’re using to read this, your healthy body, the roof over you’re head, your Internet, and other things.
There are people in the world who don’t have access to even basic needs, like food, clean water, and shelter. Some people desperately wish for the things, which you take for granted.
I used to hate every minute I spent in school. I thought about how there are children in the world who can’t afford to go to school and do difficult labor. I immediately felt grateful for my blessings.
I keep a journal at my desk, especially to write a list of 5 things I’m grateful for each day. It fuses me with positivity and I suddenly feel overwhelmingly grateful for even the smallest things, like air and the trees surrounding me. It’s a beautiful feeling.
8. Be Around Nature
It’s been scientifically proven that nature has calming and healing properties. Have you ever walked outside on a trail for a bit, feeling instantly relaxed and at peace? Or how about during rainstorms, doesn’t the pitter-patter of rain bring you comfort?
The next time you go on your morning walk, take a detour to a place full of plant life and warm sunlight.
You could also take a trip to the park, go on a hike, or simply explore the natural areas around you. Leave your electronics switched off for a bit.
Touch the plants and listen to the birds singing. Savor the moment with all your 5 senses, and let the sounds, sights, and smells of nature in.
9. Start Surrounding Yourself with Uplifting People
Ever heard the saying, ”You are the 5 people you most hang out with.”? Well, there is a serious amount of truth to that. Being around fit people subconsciously makes you want to be fitter. Talking to cynical people naturally makes you more cynical.
So, commit to surrounding yourself with positive people and building meaningful relationships with them. Socializing with your friends or coworkers is a great mood booster.
When you spend more time with people who elevate your mood and give you value, your thought patterns will subconsciously change to mimic theirs.
10. Clean up the negativity
With the world being insanely connected nowadays, it’s super easy to access any type of content or TV show, or latest celeb gossip.
Rather than consuming content that lowers your mood and triggers you into arguing with strangers online, exchange your attention for positive content – motivational videos, informative and educational videos, etc. Find educational content to watch based on your interests, mentors, idols, etc.
Consuming negative content changes your beliefs and thoughts to think negatively, without you even knowing. This is why the news is so popular – all the negative headlines attract our attention and make us want to watch it. Do you think people would be interested in watching a news headline about someone winning the lottery?
Protect your mental peace. Your mental health is the most important priority, it is the foundation for overcoming any challenge.
Conclusion – You can ALWAYS overcome your adversity!
Nothing is permanent, and change is inevitable. Just because you’re having a bad problem right now doesn’t mean the rest of your life will be the same way.
By following all these tips, you’re guaranteed to see positive change in your life. Persistence is also an extremely important quality to overcome adversity. Getting up and maturing from your problems is what I believe life is all about.
If things get too difficult, don’t be ashamed to ask for help. Seek professional help from a therapist to ease your mental load, or seek support from your loved ones.
Everyone has to overcome adversity at some point in their life. It might not be an easy task, but overcoming it will yield great rewards.
